We could have had it all
by fitschi1a
Summary: Rewriting of the last episode of season 3. What would have happened if Clarke visited the CoL 9 months after 3x07? Clexa Fluff
1. chapter 1

Chapter 1

I'm going to see her again. That's all I could think of. I ran though streets that looked like the earth before the bombs fell. I yelled ''Lexa!'' again and again. I just wanted to have my wife back. Now that my people couldn't watch me, all the feelings of the past 9 months since her death started to well up and tears started running down my cheeks. Suddenly someone called my name and 2 men were running towards me. It was my dad and Wells. I stumbled into their embrace. Wells wipped my tears away and said ''Don't worry, we'll take you to her in no time.'' and my father added ''I really like her. You made a really good joice with marring her. I had a few long talks with her and I can tell she loves you more then I ever thought it was possible to love someone, she misses you so much and is soo sooo sorry for hurting you this much by leaving you. Now let's go to her. She wasn't able to leave bed, so we promissed her to bring you to her as quick as possible.'' The last thing really worried me. While we walked down the next street I asked ''What's wrong with her? Is she sick?'' My dad just smircked and said ''Don't worry. She's fine, you'll see''

Then we entered a quite big room in one of these glass houses. Lexa layed on the bed, looking tired and worn out and Anya sat on a chair next to her. I sprinted to my wife and softly caressed her cheeks with my fingertips and my lips. She clawed her fingers into my hair. We stayed interwhined like this for about an hour till we heard a small whine and Lexa pulled back asking Anya ''Could you give her to me?'' Anya quickly nodded and disapeared into the back of the room. I was confused. What were the talking about? Anya came back and put the whailing bundle into my wife's awaiting arms. Was that a ... a baby? Her baby? Lexa soothed them and then asked me ''Could you hold her for a moment?'' When I held her I pulled the fabric back a bit and gasped. She looked so much like the two of us. She had Lexa's forest green eyes and her cheek- and jawbones, but she had my hair and the freckle above my upper lip. Meanwhile Lexa removed her top and I handed her the little one back. After she started feeding her, she smiled at me and said ''She really looks a lot like the two of us, doesn't she?'' I nodded and layed down next to her. She continued ''I found out I was carrying her about 3 weeks after I came here. Wells, Jake and Anya were great and helped me a lot, but I missed you so much. I told her everything about you. I named her Ofelia, after your favorite grandma. I hope that's ok.'' I nodded ''I'm sorry I left you alone with everything. You seem tired. Should I take her so you can sleep?'' She yawned and handed Ofelia to me ''Could you hold me?'' I happily obligaded. While Lexa and Ofelia slept in my arms, I just looked at them, trying to save all their beauty. Tears were running down my cheeks, 'cause I knew I had to leave my wife and my daughter again soon. I had to tell her when she wakes up, but now I left her her peace, Becca knows she needs it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

In the morning, about 10 hours later, I kissed Lexa awake. I wanted to spend my last hours with her with her awake, explain myself and not just leave her and break her heart. I insisted we'd talk, but she replied ''We have all the time of the world'' When I sobbed ''No, we haven't!'' she jolted awake ''What? Why? Can't you just stay here with us?'' I tried to explain ''No, I can't. I haven't died in the 'real' world and I'm only here, because we combined natblida jus, Allie's chip and your chip inside my system. If I don't get back in 15 hours, and we've already used nearly 14 of them, I'll die and not only on earth, because I wouldn't care about that, I would also die here. I have to get back, otherwise you would have to go through the pain I went through when you died and I could never do that to you. We still have eternity together. I love you and I promise you to come back.''

She took Ofelia out of my arms while tears were running down her cheek. She kissed her head a few times and burried her nose into the soft babyhair taking in all the smell. Then she said ''I love you so much, but I have to let you go to not lose you. Go with your Momma and be a good girl. I'll be here waiting for the two of you, I hope for a long time.'' Then she turned to me ''Take her with you, please take care of her. Your mom can help you, teach you everything. Please, do it!'' - ''No, I can't take our daughter away from you!'' - ''But she will die here!!! She shares your faith, because she didn't die in the 'real' world, too. I don't want to lose her forever when she's older, but if she's with you for now, she will have ethernity with us together. We'll have the chance to be a real family.'' I felt defeated. I didn't want to put Lexa into the pain of being sepeated from her child, but otherwise our child would die. I nodded. She took a rag and tied Ofelia to my chest. Then she looked her right hand with my left one and put her head onto my collarbone next to our daughters head. I patted her head ''I know I can't raise her as good as you could, but I vow to you I'll try my best. I'm taking care that she'll remember her Mommy, who loves her more then her own life, and that she'll know all your other hero stories. I love you, we both love you so much. May we met again!'' I gave her a long heated kiss and slowly left. It hurt leaving her behind silently sobbing, but I had to do it in order to prevent her from getting even more hurt. I just walked past Wells, Dad, Lincoln, Finn, Anya, Charlotte and all the other people I've lost and ignored them. I walked back to the place where I first arrived in the CoL, with Ofelia snoring between my boobs[or in The Good Earth Cleavage]. It wasn't even 15 hours since I was here last, but I was a completly other person. First I was just a teenager, all for my self, and now I was a mother, raise my baby daughter alone. I had to not just think about me from now on. I had to be responsable, for her. Then I pressed my neck and sent us back into the 'real' world. I opened my eyes and was in Lexa's throne. Next to me there were my mom, Bellamy, his boyfriend Murphy and Octavia. All were antisipated waiting for news of their dead loved ones. I wasn't moving and just froze 'till I heard a cry, it was my daughters coming from between my boobs. I carefully lifted her out of the rag and held her tight while caressing her cheek with the back of my index finger ''I know you miss your Mommy, I do so, too, but your Momma's here and your going to be just fine.'' Then I gave her a smol kiss on her forehead and wiped her tears away with my thumb. Then I saw my confused family ''May I introduce to you mine and Lexa's daughter Ofelia. Ofelia, this is your Granny, your Uncles Bell and Johnny and Aunty O.'' Everyone fell, just like I did, imidiatly in love with her. But then she started to fuss again and I didn't knew what was wrong with her. Seeking for help I looked up to my Mom. She told me she was probably just hungry. She went with the both of us to my old room and I sat down in one of the armchairs. My Mom gave me a few injections and told me I should remove my top and my bra. After I did so, she took my left hand, while I held Ofelia with my right one, and put my index- and middle finger on my areola. Then she guided my hand with my nipple to my daughter's lips 'till she latched. My breast started produced milk. I was really glad she didn't need to suffer hunger anymore. After I finished feeding her, my mother showed me how to burp her and then O and the boys came in and told me they had a suprise for me. I covered up and we walked to the other side of the tower to Lexa's room. When I opened the door I was amazed. They put up a crib next to the bed and made a playarea from the former meditation corner and they hung up all the drawings I made of Lexa in the past years since we met and they even put up a rocking chair, where I could nurse her. My eyes began to water. I pulled them all into a big bear hug with my free hand. They left me alone with her in the old new room for the night. I put her into her crib and fell asleep looking into her perfect face, seeing my wife in it.


End file.
